Loving Yourself ~ Here is the Best Kept Secret for a Woman Discovering How She Can Become Comfortable within Her Own Skin
So many woman read romance fiction hoping the romance they are reading is about them. Others, will go to bars, searching for the man of their dreams, then Christian folk may travel the church circuit in hopes of finding a man.
All of these women and many others are in hopes of finding true and lasting love and happiness not in themselves but in another person.
So many women think there happiness is being in love with a man and that is simply not really true. Loving your-self before your find another is a far better policy.
What you will learn in this blog posting is that the real secret is not about him, but its about you. You can spend hours on end sitting on a shrinks couch analyzing why you are not happy with or without a man, but yet, nothing comes through for you and your still remain mildly happy or painfully unhappy.
Maybe like the country song, it all comes down to you. Yes, maybe it is because "You are searching for LOVE in ALL the WRONG PLACES.
Let's face it your man won't point you to it, because in a way, he is still in search of himself. So if both of you act like the rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland" are in search of self, in the end you will never find true contentment.
So what are you doing wrong. You are searching for love externally. That will always be a problem unless, you search for it from its true source which comes as your search becomes internal.
So let's examine another meditation practice I discovered and I will share not only find yourself, but begin to become fully Comfortable in Your Own Skin, Something that very few women possess and have ever experienced. So get off your shrink's couch and, let us begin.
According to Deepak Chapra and if you watched the Movie “Eat, Pray. Love”, loving yourself begins with forgiveness. If you carry around with you a lot of guilt or even hate for another person, both of these, will keep you from discovering true unconditional love of self.
Chapra suggests that the most effective way to eliminate guilt is the following:
1. Confess to an authority figure whether ecclesiastical or a mentor what you feel guilty about and ask for forgivnemss.
2. Perform and act of atonement of service to someone you know or don’t know.
3. Pray of meditate for divine forgiveness or the kind that you are renewed and no longer remember.
4. Perform a ritual of contrition and appeasement to let go of any bad feelings hereafter/
5. Develop a mantra you can say to yourself over and over again. My personal mantra is what Jesus said, “Thank-you Father” or “I love you Father”. Find a mantra that will work for you.
He goes on to suggest that one of the strengths of a Catholic confessional is that it serves the purpose of releasing guilt and moving on with one’s life. Not that we want all of you to become Catholics, however, many other ecclesiastical ministers or even a mentor can provide for you the same service.
So why is elimination guilt and shame so important? It is because it serves as a form of drag on your spirit. So, unless you can eliminate it, your ability to love yourself unconditionally is harder.
According to Jack Kornfield as a mantra he suggests one of the followings by initiating breath:
“Begin with yourself. Breathe gently, and recite inwardly the following traditional phrases directed to your own well-being. You begin with yourself because without loving yourself it is almost impossible to love others.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
As you repeat this phrase or others, picture yourself as your are now, and hold that image in a heart of lovingkindness. Or perhaps you will find it easier to picture yourself as a young and beloved child.”
Jack goes on to suggest it may feel to be mechanical, but it is not because your soul hears what you are saying and takes it as a reality, not as the mind, that it might be a bit repetitious, when you say it often.”
I have added a TED talk by Dr. Kristin Neff who in this video explains even more about how to love yourself unconditionally. Also if you will apply a self hug.like the one in the picture in private, often, this practice too will over time, help you reconnect with the love you feel for being alive, deep down inside.