Woman's Secret ~ Breaking the Mind Barrier ~ How to Change Your Life by Accepting and Experiencing Your Human Side by using a Simple Body Exploration, Gestalt Therapy Practice
I don't know if you remember the TV show "Fantasy Island".
"The Fantasy Island TV show was (obviously) a 60 minute fantasy series on ABC.
Your wildest dreams could come true on Fantasy Island. Just pick any place and time in your past.
You'd get a chance to relive your mistakes (and hopefully fix them).
Or pick something you always wanted to do but couldn't or didn't. But be carefull what you wish for!
Sometimes fantasies should remain in your dreams! To help you remeember, here was the cast that you would see every week. It is still on Hulu, if any of you want to see it again.
Fantasy Island CastRicardo Montalban .... Mr. Roarke
Herve Villechaize .... Tattoo
Christopher Hewitt ... Lawrence
Wendy Schaal ......... Julie
Kimberly Beck ........ Cindy '
The reason I bring up the idea of "Fantasy Island" is because within our own society, there tends to be a lot of people who live within their own fantacies. In fact, my belief is that with the increases in technology, more and more people seem to enter their very own mental versions, of the show, "Fantasy Island".
As a therapist, using Gestalt Therapy authored by Fritz Pearls which I discussed some of his personal ideas in an early blog post is a unique technique that the therapist would use, to somehow get the patient out of his or her fantasy world of thinking and snap them back into reality.
Somehow the therapist will not use B. F. Skinner's concept of Behavioral Therapy where you slowly move the patient from their fantasy world, and over time show them how to experience reality. Gestalt is where the therapist would use a quicker and more radical approach by creating a "Reality Snap -back", word or technique or creating a situation, to get the patient to see the error of his or her thinking, and finding the patient immediately ready to make his or her changes, or finding another "Slower Therapy" to follow.
Many times those changing to a Behavioralist therpist not accepting the therapy of a Gestalt therapist, my belief is that the patient didn't want to own up to his or her own reality but wanted to somehow, maintain his or her own, private fantasies. That is why I prefer Gestalt over Behaviorial therapy.
I believe that one problem that people who are not in reality is that they are living in a dream. And just like the TV series where in search of their own fantasies and just people who came onto the set of "Fantasy Island", and these people were living out their own fantasies, while living here on earth.
As a Gestalt Therapist, I want to illustrate a method that you might like to explore on your very own, to potentially snap yourself out of any fantasies that you might in fact have. I am not suggesting that you are living in a fantasy, but only to suggests, that using this simple technique I will share with you here, might help make a huge change in your very own personal life. So if you are ready to change your life forever, we hope this will end many of your own fantasies forever.
This is a simple therapy I will prescribe but you must follow it today, and other times throughout the month or year, to maintain your very own sense of your own human reality. Knowing and accepting your humaness is my belief that will end most of your fantasies, place you more on an Earthly par, and over time make you into a far happier human being. It is our delusions that cause us human's havic and the reducing of our happiness. and this practice below I created which is to elimate any delusiongs that you might have. In fact, one strength of the Paleos is that they didn't have the fantacies we modern men have.
In fact, what I prescribe is simple, but might not be easy to do, that is if you have a HUGE FANTACY life. Hopefully, you want to elimate any fantasies that you might have if you do, you will follow my advice.
Here some pschological advice you could follow:
“I regularly tell my therapy clients that if they genuinely want to improve their self-esteem, they need to explore what parts of themselves they're not yet able to accept. For, ultimately, liking ourselves more (or getting on better terms with ourselves) has mostly to do with self-acceptance. And it's only when we stop judging ourselves that we can secure a more positive sense of who we are. Which is why I believe self-esteem rises naturally as soon as we cease being so hard on ourselves. And it's precisely because self-acceptance involves far more than self-esteem that I see it as crucial to our happiness and state of well-being.”
This is a more radical approach this women used than the one above and for her it seemed a very enlightening procedure and extermely beneficial. I have also added a more evassive approach below if you do yoga.
“Alone in my bathroom, I stripped off all of my clothes. I stood naked before the mirror and looked at myself. I mean, really looked at myself. I wanted to see my body and acknowledge what I didn’t like. I felt that by doing this I could see the real me and finally accept who I am, flaws and all.
Here’s what I saw: My body is not perfect, but it is certainly not bad, either.
Regardless of its flaws, my body has withstood many challenges: I gave birth to two children, I ran a half marathon, and I can rock the thirty-minute circuit at the gym like nobody’s business. I also have some pretty cool tattoos, and even though I am no super model, I actually think I look good naked.
When I thought about it, I realized my body was actually pretty awesome.
It was then and there that I decided I needed to take my friend’s advice: accept my body for what it is. Sure, it would be cool to have rock hard abs or to look like a girl on the cover of a fashion magazine, but by comparing my body to some ideal, I am overlooking what is truly great about me.
And so I quit my weight loss program, and as soon as I did, I felt amazing. No more feeling guilty about what I did or did not eat that day, no more hating myself on weigh-in day (no more weighing myself, period!), and no more telling myself I am not thin enough.
I will still make strides to be healthy (regular exercise, healthy portions, fruits and veggies), but now it is just to be healthy, not to lose thirty pounds or look like a super model.
My experience in truly facing my insecurities and consciously deciding to accept myself, my whole self, and nothing but myself, was truly enlightening; and it was freeing.
I challenge you to do the same. You don’t have to literally get naked, but definitely do so metaphorically. Strip away your impossible expectations and look at the amazing person you really are.”
What I hope this does for you is create a sense of GROUNDING. I believe our minds are always scattered but it is our body wisdom, that acts like our life's true north start. So once you get a handle on self body acceptance, is when your body grounding and shifting from mind control, will begin.
If you are heavily into yoga but I don't recommend you follow her advice but I added a link below where she teaches yoga in her classe in the buff.
But if you are in yoga, you don't have to practice naked, but I recommend that you learn to slow down your practice and get to know your body better and hopefully you will gain those same effects. and begin your very own journey towards self-acceptance.
Here is what I believe which many therapists don't recognize. I am more into Radical Self Care than they are. Yes Self Care is not just about your mental construct of self acceptance and a psychologist, trying to help yo u sort that construct in a Top/down fastion. I believe it needs to be attended from a more primative side of your brain which is your and my bodies.
Let's face it, Hollywood has created a construct of what the perfect body type both for male and female types, which are totally FALSE and unreal. We seem to see these in our movies and in our ads we watch on TV and in the magazines. Many of them which are air brushed by the way. In fact, I believe their body standards of what is acceptable is one that NO ONE dued to the diversity of our Human DNA's and even the movie stars temselves, can't ever live up too. No wonder they are into tummy tucks and plastic surgery care, to keep up this FALSE reality.
So lets get down to your body and how you perceive it. I will share with you what I have done because ever us males can't live up as we get older to the abs of the perfect Hollywood image. No wonder dieting because we are all being fooled, has become a trillion dollar industry.
So to my way of thinking both men and women need to see how FALSE Hollywood's standards really are.
What I personally did after getting sick from cancer and now moving into remission, which I am glad to say. Is that my body image became an important person radical self care construct I had to personally as a human being, to attend to. I realized I before I began the therapy I ask you to do below that I had to end that monster that was in my head for good. It couldn't take a 3 minute of nudity coming out of the shower, but it needed more time to settle in. I said to myself, as I extended both test times, that I like the way I am, no clothes and all. all my love handles and all.
Maybe you will have to find your own way to change not just your mental but that body image problem going on in your head. I know this seems more radical than laying down on a shrinks couch, but after almost dieing, I realize that accepting my body with love and its wonder as it is, was and is probably for 99.9% of the human family, is an important thing to do. Even if you have to get down in the mental weeds, of getting but naked for a few more minutes than you normally do taking a shower.
If you don't sense and experience your humaness to me you will lose your human experience, somehow, you need some neuralplasticity or a shift in consciousness to set in if you are a dominant head person. If it doesn't work within a few hours like it did for me, then you must be willing to give these changes more time.
The most important thing you have learned here is that accepting yourself is deeper than your mind acceptance, but it goes much deeper and into your not living up to Hollywood's air brushed body image yourself. Somehow, you have to NEUTRALIZE that I'm not OK idea that is rolling around in your head each day.
The beauty of you attacking your non OK'ness from a body stance is that once you do this heavy lifting, something magical begins to happen. What you will begin to sense over time like the book title itself, is "I'M OK/YOUR OK, something if you are reading this blog post right now, you believe have to fix.
The only thing is once you know what is your problem, now you need to let your consciousness find your very own body self acceptance solution but I added a system that I use below that has helped me. Remember, this is a radical self care principle and something we all modern human beings of today, need to do.
I believe that overcoming your negative body image like I have had to do, is entering the BIG LEAGUES, But there are some positives that will come your way once you do. Below, I believe are 12 benefits you will gain once you practice self acceptance and learn how to become more comfortable within your own skin.
Yes I believe that one of the reasons we came to earth is to enjoy the bodies that God has given us. And if we don't learn to enjoy living in our bodies, maybe we might have failed, His exam.
Also, that is what makes our world great is we are amongst so many wonderful human beings of different shapes and sizes, just like ourselves and we need to respect their needs as they respect ours.
Furthermore, because we are all human, we are all equal. And whether you are fat, thin, tall or short, we all have bodies, and learning to accept our bodies and other peoples bodies too, Allowing for all those differences in human body shapes and sizes, as you will read in the benefits below will become an essential part of your thinking. God didn't create clones so living with differemces was all His plan from the very beginning.
I believe that once we put on our clothes and when the make-up goes on is when your fantancies begin. If you remember that your body is made up of both a mix of the earth and water, maybe you will becme more forgiving of those parts you wish were different. In fact, whenever I hear the word, "Earth", it creates a warm feeling deep down inside me. I want this same effect to be your feeling too.
I call it Gestalt because you are getting to know your body as it is and accepting yourself, accepting your body as is and enjoying being a human being.
In summary, we all came to Earth to experience this human existance, and soak it all in. Even part of your body that you might not like which is really a wonderful thing. Its you or who you are and that is a beautiful thing. We are all beautiful creatures whatever is lacking in our bodies that may appear in our minds. Somehow, that negative way of SHIT thinking has to be erased for good.
Before having you leave I want to take this simple test so see if you are into body acceptance or it is something that you need more time to work on. In fact, you can use it not only as a test but an approach to make you more body accepting so this test is very expansive in nature.
I wanted to leave you like a TED video with this simple test, so I don't leave you hanging out to dry, without a solution .
Please be honest when you take this test the next time you take a shower, and dry yourself off. Please women, no cheating. Cheating is not going to do you any good. Take the time doing both of these tests, the way you would normally do it, and if you need to work on it some more, remember that is the purpose of this test, because it also includes your solution.
I also want to make this test simple and something that most of us, unless you are a hermit, do every day and that is take a shower or bath. One thing I have found is that once you apply this approach as a meditation, it can become a valuable approach to self therapy.
Also, for women that have young children, applying this simple test, when the hubby is home, might be a simple approach to have some time alone. I find women with children, desire more of that time and this is a way you can achieve that desire.
Test 1. During a day when you have more time to spend to relax, do you spend more or less than 5 minutes taking a shower. The longer you take, might become more therapeutic too, than just taking a quick run, as most people do. And the goal is that if you do a quick run through like a car wash, I want you to extend that time, maybe out to even 10 mintes and enjoy the water through taking a more meditative shower. Enjoy the water on your face and on your back and enjoy it like it is a message session. You might even want to learn to take a long hot bath and maybe even include aroma candles. I wrote a blog article on it earlier on both. You can also use an extended timer if that helps. The idea here is that the more you rush this process, the poorer body image you have of yourself. And if you have a poorer body image, I want you to extend that shower of bath time more. Here are two things you might like to add when applying this test. The first is like going to a masseuse, they always have soft music in the background. And if that helps, please use it. Extend it with a gratitude thought processes too if that even helps. Also, you might like to get an 15 minute time too that will ring once your 10 minutes of shower time is up.
Test 2. After taking your shower and drying yourself off, do you take about 3 or more minutes on yourself drying off and putting on your clothes back on agin afterwards, The longer you take in this process too, suggests you need to add more time there too. It suggests that you don't like seeing yourself naked. You might like to keep the music going while also drying yourself off. Use any devise you can to help you feel good and extend out that time.
We humans operate from goals to make our practices valid, so the Question you are probably asking is how do I know my meditative shower practice has worked. The answer is more sensual than rational I am afraid because you are training yourself how to become a sensual women, (men are included). What you will notice is that not only your mind thoughts slow down, but over time, you will experience where all of your SHOULD thoughts shut down. Once that happens you enter the present moment and experience a pleasure, beyond possible offered to you within your rational mind. It is this feeling of ultimate PLEASURE which is what your body, and not your mind can offer you. Use this idea not only with taking a shower meditation but with every other practice you may do, such as Yoga.
In summary, a person who is comfortable in their own skin is willing to take more time doing both activities. A person who is wanting to get out of their clothes take a fast shower and put them on again fast I believe has a body image problem that their self conscious is exhibiting and it is happening below their rational mind radar. If you do have a body image problem, relax we all have had this same problem at one period of our lives, and I believe if you can extend that time out more, over time, it will force you to accept your self body image better.
Over time once you are successful in doing this simple self acceptancy practice above, here are the long run benefits you will discover. If you have a body image problem, there benefits won't happen all at once, but one by one, you will be able to check them off. In fact, you can even use this too as a further test to see if your practice is or is not working.
Also to measure if this activity you liked and has worked for you. please hit the like button below.
1. First of all this is a non-sexual practice but simply one of you experiencing deep body exploration.
2. . For head people this can be a "Born Again" experience to experience a different side of you. However, if you are a strong head person, you may need to give it more time for neuroplasticity or a new neural network in you brain to set in,
3 . You are beginning the process of learning how to become comfortable in your own skin, which is something that head people never seem to learn. In your practice, I want you to accept your human reality all of it and not simply living in Top/down world but learn how to transition a few times suring your day, into your personal Bottoms/up lifestyle.
4. I want you to pretend over time that you are wearing a "Human Being Badge" and are proud that you have this wonderful body that God has given you. In fact, every night before going to bed, I thank God that I am a body person and not a spirit being only.
5. Also, whenever you meet people out there who you don't know and even a stranger you can realize they have a body just like you have therefore something in common with them, commoness allows your mind to meet there mind in good conversation. So you don't have to be afraid of anyone else because you have learned to value yourself as a human being and value your own personal Human worth.
6. You will become more self loving and loving yourself with all your love handles and all of your body differences. You will realize how DNA has made you unique and different from others and all our genetic differeces is a blessing for you and for others. As you meet others wherever, you will begin to think, defficiencies and all, you are perfectly YOU. Furthermore, you will also learn to love other more too.
7. You will also becoming less judgemental which is something I also realize as I am more of a body person. I believe it is because even when someone doesn't live their life exactly my way, I have become more accepting and forgiving of their differences.
8. I want you to begin experiencing pleasure in your bodies motion. I walk more and sit less now that I love my human body more than I did before I experienced my body self. To me walking is a pleasure just like anyone doing yoga, experiences pleasure in their practice.
9. I want you to become or gain a sense of become a body person, someone who lives in her body all day long. It soons becomes a method of you living more present, and less in the past and the future. Positive psychology by Abraham Maslow suggests that people who live in their bodies and are fully present, are self-actualized and truly happy people. Maybe this simple practice can be your start.
10. I believe in the "Law of Attraction" but I believe that the more physically aware you are as a person the more confidence and charisma you will exude when you meet people, to make this law to begin working powerfully in your life.
11. You will have also gained more empathy for people who don't experience either the life or have the wonderful body that you enjoy. You will learn to reach out fo defficiencies that other people may have that may make them different from you. Or your love for other will only improve.
12 . Last but least, as you become more of a body person, it offers you a sense of Life Balance, so you are not only in your thoughts but you begin to experience a body sense of awareness and acceptancy in your daily life. This what living an authentic life is all about, one which most Westerners have lost.
This process is not rogue, watch this video so you can learn the spirituality you can gain through apply Shower Meditation
I have added some Body Acceptance and Self Care Videos Below ~ Enjoy!
Gestalt and who is Fritz Pearls